too much conversation

A Well Deserved Rant

2008-12-09T22:14:00.001-08:00

When you are surrounded by people that society deem worthy and good, you also feel like striving towards goodness. And, everyone should be entitled to goodness – which I define as being good at something.. having a forte, an area in which they can dominate. I think that in our possessive, competitive world, people aren’t happy enough being good at one thing, dominating in one thing, having one forte. Instead, we want it all. You want to be good at everything, praised by everyone… etc. And this is what we strive for. But, what about the other people out there who are only good at one thing? By striving for being good at more than one thing you are stealing from the people out there are only good at one thing. You are taking away from someone else’s opportunity to be admired, to show off, to get praise, to show the world what they got and what they are good at – to share their talents and goodness with other people.

Stupid society. Screws everyone over in the end. Screws over the people that want to have that one thing they are good at, that one thing that they can hold onto. Screws the superwomen [and men I guess, for a sec I forgot there were Y chromosomes left out there :P], overachievers over by telling them that even though they have everything and are good at everything* [note, the “everything” I refer to here is defined by material stuff, not by how you value yourself, but stuff you need to survive but would really rather live without– job, position, marks, wealth, all those impermanent things in the world], they still need to strive to get more. More, more, more, more. When does it stop? Does it stop? Damn it we’re human and we have limited resources of our minds and our time, where the fuck will we get more from, huh? Stop putting these inherently STUPID ideas into our heads. Get lost society. Just leave. I don’t want to talk to you for a good long time, ok?

Society and media, and stupidness makes you feel incompetent about yourself and makes you want to look for more. It makes you forget all the goodness that you do have and look at other people and want the goodness that they have. You want all the goodness. And you think that you can be happy once you get that goodness. BUT!!! BUT, its not like that. Even after you get all the goodness you sit back and thing “hmm.. what do I really have?” I don’t have feelings, I don’t have friends, I don’t have caring-ness for other people. I’m just a cyborg with lots of societal goodness, but no really goodness. I’m just a hollow papermache thinger.. put so many layers on the outside, but once you cut me open I have nothing real good on the inside. I have nothing to care about, nothing that I love, nothing that I can actually look back at and actually enjoy!!!”

So, the moral here is – don’t look at the goodness other people and want that. Look at yourself and see the goodness that you want/have. What do you care about? – do it. Soon. What are you good at [and LOVE to do.. you can be good at something and hate it to death] – do it!!!! What are your aspirations, what will make you happy? Money is important, but not as important as you and your happiness. Screw society and live life the way you want to live it, not the way you have been brainwashed to live it.

Officially Summer

2008-05-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

I love reading. I always have. As a kid, I used to camp out in my school’s library [seriously, that is not an exaggeration] reading books during lunch and recess time. During winter break, I would read. During summer, I would read [and watch TV and play random games with my siblings, but those stories are for another day]. Books were –and still are – a way for me to explore new things, learn about new people, and have adventures in my head. I read more than I watched TV.

You know what I like about a good book? Whether or not you realise it, good books always leave some sort of an impression on you. People are born as empty pails, and as they grow the pail starts to get filled with things – water and such (actually, we’re more complex than just a pail, probably more like an elaborate system of tubes and pipes and what not, but let’s stick to “pail” to keep it simple, k?). Everything you experience in life adds stuff to the pail and makes you who you are (ok, maybe not EVERYTHING, but hopefully you get a point). A book, if it ranks high-ish on the “zero to awesome” scale, will add a drop of water to your pail of life. Either that, or, it’ll just make you feel good for a while.

For me, summer always officially begins once I have completed reading my first book [the part of me that is madly in love with reading goes into hibernating during the school year due to the fact that once I pick up a good book, I can’t put it down; all life – fine, almost all life – goes on hold until I finish reading my book]. That day, ladies and gentlemen, was yesterday. And it is for that reason that I am proud to present to you: Sonika’s Summer ’08.

Now, all I need to do is find a job.

Of Bus Rides and Rainy Days

2008-05-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

For people living in the city, I imagine that public transit is like God’s gift to humanity. I, however, live in the suburbs, where public transit is one of the crappiest services offered by the town. Public transit in the suburbs is: a) never on time, b) not frequent (i.e. if you miss a bus you’ll be waiting at least 20 minutes for the next one to come. And that’s on the busy streets during rush hour), and c) crazily expensive. I’ve been using public transit ever since I was in grade nine (I went to a school that was 15 minutes away from me by car and 45 minutes away by bus), so I’ve gotten used to the long waits and the unreliability of it all.

Anyways, yesterday morning (rainy, Friday mornings are always the best kind) I was taking the bus back home from a thing at a friend’s house. It was actually a very unique experience. The first bus driver was really nice and smiley with the whole “Good morning” and “Have a nice day” attitude, which is not rare, but its definitely not the norm. [But, then again, my experience with bus drivers is limited to busy rush hour times when all the passengers are either: a) annoyingly loud and obnoxious teenagers that try to hard to look good and fit in, but will never admit it, b) shy teens that quietly show their monthly bus pass and then grab a seat next to the window so that they can pretend to be invisible and hopefully won’t get bothered by group A, c) busy middle-aged working adults, half of which look really tired and have premature wrinkles on their forehead, and maybe, if you’re lucky you might be able to spot d) a senior citizen.]

The second bus driver was… hmm… how to put it… waaaaaay to happy to be normal. There was an elderly Asian couple that got on the bus before me, and he was all like “HELLO!!!! GOOD MORNING! HOW ARE YOU?!”. Seriously, this guy was way too happy for it to be a rainy Friday morning in May. Either he was: a) high, b) drunk, c) popping loads of antidepressants/behavioural meds that make you super happy at first but suicidal after chronic use, or d) genuinely happy to see them. I vote for C. Reminds me of our OCD, overachiever principal last year that was always smiling, but could never sit still.

Walking from the bus stop to my home sweet home (<3)>

Now the same story from the worms’ point of view:

We’re sitting quietly, minding our own business on the nice wet pavement, when this crazy big giant girl pokes us with a log. She then proceeds to “carry us” (more like a dangling rollercoaster) on the log and throws us onto the grass, which is over flowing with wetness, so we drown to death.

Of Being Tagged

2008-05-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

So, I was tagged in this meme thing by my homefry Jessica of SoSupercilious. I have to tell seven random facts about myself that not many people know. Hmm.. this shall be interesting (by interesting I mean boring. I could never make seven random facts about myself sound cool):

1) I love snails. Yeah, I think they are really cute. The sliminess definitely adds to their cuteness. Oh and the fact that they are slow. And they have shells. And they don’t have eyes!

2) My “ring toes” are crooked. Both of them bend inwards, underneath the other toes. It might sound weird, but I think it looks ok. Oh, and yes, I was born like that. No crazy science experiments, no vat of nuclear waste, no mother grabbing me by the ankle, hanging me upside down and dipping me into a river of the underworld.

3) Not many people know this, it’s kind of funny if you know me, but if you don’t its completely random and pointless. I own a pair of bright red McGill panties (and no, they are not granny-panties, but the cute ones, thank you very much). My friend from McGill brought them back for me because he thought it’d be funny.

4) People always think I’m a lot older than I actually am. I was out with my older cousin the other day and I was offered a drink. Also, my mom’s friends/coworkers always think I’m her sister or something. It’s happened at a couple weddings, and once when I went to work. I look like my MOM’s sister! Oh good god.

5) I believe that it’s the small things that make our world go round. I think that holding the door open for someone, especially strangers, is a really kind gesture. I say “Please” and “Thank You” to [almost] everyone; bus drivers, people that serve you… etc.

6) This is getting hard. I talk a lot. I guess that one is obvious, but once you get me started I don’t stop. I always seem to have something to say. I hope its not annoying *blushes*. Which is why I’m finding it really hard to do these last two, because most people know a lot about me (or at least, I think they do… I tell them a lot, whether or not they remember it is another story).

7) I am not a picky eater. If it’s edible, I’ll eat it. There are certain foods that I prefer to others, and certain foods that I stay away from, but for the most part I’ll eat whatever.

So, I’m supposed to tag seven people at the end of my post… but, I really new to this blogging thing, so I’m going to pass on that (*sigh* yes, it’s horrible, I’m breaking the chain).

Applying Science to Daily Life

2008-03-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

Fact: Each reaction has a certain amount of activation that needs to be overcome in order for that reaction to occur.

Application: In order to get what you want (the products of the reaction) you need to put in a certain amount of work/time/effort (the activation energy). This holds true for all things in life: jobs, marks, relationships (including family and friends, not just romantic interests), personal gratification… etc.

Fact: Newton’s first law – An object at rest remains at rest and an object in motion remains in motion, unless acted by an external force.

Application: People (objects) are lazy (“stay in rest/in motion”) and need some sort of motivation (external force) in order to change their lives/habits/etc. So don’t be afraid to use the force (ok fine, that’s Star Wars, not science… but it’s still applicable).

Fact: Enzymes are catalysts that are used to speed up reactions. However, enzymes are not able to catalyze every reaction, they are specific to their own substrates.

Application: Sometimes you meet certain people (catalysts) that you “click” with almost instantly (substrate specific) and they help you out with certain aspects of your life (speed up rate of reaction). Often they are sources of inspiration and/or support.

Fact: An object’s acceleration is determined by the net sum of all the forces acting upon it. .

Application: Your direction in life (acceleration) is governed by everything you spend your time doing, and everything that you allow yourself to be influenced by (net sum of all the forces).

Fact: Unimolecular nucleophilic substitution (Sn1) reactions tend to occur with tertiary alkyls, which are “crowded”.

Application: The more you pile onto your plate (if you are crowded like a tertiary alkyl) then you will find it very hard for you to juggle your tasks (undergo nucleophilic substitution). You will probably even end up going crazy – nervous breakdown, identity crisis - for a short while (unstable carbocation) before regaining stability in your life.

Stop being such a bore.

2008-02-18T16:12:00.000-08:00

Whether you believe it or not, everyone lives a super cool life. The only problem is that not many people like talking about the super cool lives that they live. Which sucks, because that’s a lot of super cool stories we’re missing out on. I really don’t get why a lot of people present their lives as cardboard cut-outs (read: flat, boring, lifeless, dull) of the real things. Instead of being Jayendra Nehru* who grew up in Nepal, moved to Canada when he was 14, spend two years at a private school in Vancouver, moved to Etobicoke for his final year of secondary schooling, and is now studying at Richard Ivey School of Business at University of Western Ontario, he presents himself as Jay doing biz at Western, which totally doesn’t do his life justice.

It’s strange how a lot of people don’t talk about their lives or where they’ve been or what they’ve done or what they’ve experienced because they feel like it’s all “not interesting enough.” Who defines interesting anyways? I would love if people would talk about their lives more openly. It would make things a lot less boring. It would make relationships (no, not the holding-sweaty-hands-in-a-movie-theatre or the intimate-wine-and-roses kind, but the everyday-interaction-between-people kind) a lot more fun.

I’m not a creep, but sometimes I get this sudden urge to grab people by their collars, shake them up one or two times, and then say to them, “Man, stop being so f**king boring!” Or, I could always get right in there face and look real hard into their eyes and say “There’s more of you in there, I can just FEEL it.” The only thing stopping me from doing either is that I always find some sort of excuse to fight this urge off though. Excuses like, “they’re going to think I’m out of my mind,” or “I am frigging out of my mind,” or “I could just try harder to pry their juicy life-stories out of them [insert cackle here].” (Okay, I promise the creepster comments stop now)

Bottom line is, I think people should stop trying to be so boring. I actually think that it takes people MORE effort to be a bore than to it does to be interesting. Stop trying to be like everyone else. Be yourself. I dare you.

* disclaimer: all names and events are fictional